2023 forecast; Out: sexual shame, In: sexual liberation

I’m not a fan of the ‘ new year new me’ movement because usually this happens in ways that are unsustainable and soon people stray away from this image of themselves they wanted to become in the new year. But what happens if we look at the new year in a new way? As a new opportunity to leave behind the things that are no longer serving us and the chance to try something new? Something everyone can leave behind in 2022 is sexual shame and something we could all use a little more of being self acceptance, sexual liberation, and maybe even one day feeling self love. Sex and shame are often linked and can have a negative impact on our mental health and well being, especially for those in marginalized communities, which is why this is exceptionally important to address.

1. Unlearning and learning
   One of the first steps toward sexual liberation, the state of being free from sexual mores or inhibitions that are considered restrictive, is to unlearn the damaging messages and stereotypes that the media and society perpetuates around sex, sexuality, gender and relationships. These things can be deeply ingrained in us, we can embody them unconsciously so it’s essential to bring awareness to them.
   Questions to reflect on:
   ● What messages do you remember learning about sex and different sexual practices?
   ● Are you satisfied with your sex life?
   ● If not, what would you like to see change?
   ● Have you ever felt embarrassed or ashamed of the kind of sexual practices you enjoy or would like to try?
   ● If yes, can you name what is behind this feeling? Ie- Some people experience shame over squirting because of the uninformed messages that circulate in the media saying ‘squirt is pee’ insinuating there is something ‘wrong’ or ‘dirty’ about this.

● In your perfect world, what would your ideal sex life look like? Feel free to let your imagination run wild here.
● What is one concrete step you can make to get yourself closer to this ideal?

2. Getting to know yourself
   When we have a positive relationship with ourselves, this has a ripple effect on the other relationships in our lives. When we take the time to get to know ourselves deeply on an emotional, physical and sexual level this changes the way we are able to connect with others. Who we are is constantly changing and what we enjoy may change, but it is a transformative experience to know yourself intimately and to be able to share this your self knowledge with others. When we are secure in who we are and our actions, then there will be less space for sexual shame
   There are many ways you can approach self exploration and what works may be different for everyone.
   Here are some habits you can consider incorporating into your life in 2023. If any of these speak to you I would love to know what new habits you will try to incorporate into your life this year.

● Journaling: Free form journaling is a great tool already, but you can also try using specific journal prompts to help get you thinking about specific aspects of self.
● Movement and Play: This gives you the opportunity to build a relationship with your body in ways that may also bring you pleasure. Maybe you can even try incorporating an embodied sense of sensuality into your movements
● See a professional: This can be an excellent place for self exploration and mental health support. A professional can be a Psychotherapist, Counselor or a Wellbeing Coach if these are accessible to you.
● Develop a spiritual practice: This is vague and it is meant to be! Support can look like many outside of traditional talk therapy. For example, you could explore somatic therapies, reiki, Tarot, hypnosis, Dance movement therapy etc. Try things out, see what resonates with you and think about how you can incorporate this into life for the long term.
● Build connections with others: Part of knowing ourselves means knowing ourselves in relation to others. Building positive relationships can help to increase our overall sense of well being.
● Masturabte: Make intentional time to try new things and see what brings you pleasure.

3.Practice!
If you do experience shame, practice actively confronting this; accepting that this is something you struggle with is a powerful step towards creating change,moving towards sexual liberation, and moving closer to the version of you you would like to be.
In 2023 ask yourself ‘what kind of sex do I want to be having? And what is keeping you from having it?’ Make 2023 the year of self exploration, self discovery, centering pleasure and the time to release everything that no longer serves you in living an authentic life. If there are any habits you are incorporating into life that I didn’t mention here, I would love to hear about them so be sure to leave a comment below!

‘This blog pro­vides infor­ma­tion about sexual health and related sub­jects. The blog content and any linked materials herein are not intended to be, and should not be con­strued as a substitute for, med­ical, mental health or healthcare advice, diagnosis or treatment. Any reader or per­son with a med­ical con­cern should con­sult with an appropriately-licensed physi­cian, healthcare provider or Mental Health professional. This blog is provided purely for informational purposes.’